How the legend performers and the champions win without competing?
The root word of competition comes from “competere” in latin, which means “to seek together”.
The word competition in its true meaning stand for “to work together” to improve each other- but NOT to “kill” each other. Unfortunately, a lot of people have misunderstood the meaning of “competition” and have confused the meaning of competing to being combative which is closer to the fittest of the survivals.
The true legends that dwarf and make a dent in their industry, goes beyond that plane and level of the average understanding of competition. They understand ultimately the old advice of Socrates
“The secret of change is to focus all your energy not in fighting the old, but in building the new.”
A combative mind is focus on the ego and is limited.
On the other hand, the creative mind is in harmony with the bigger “you” and in flow with the natural state of the universe. Which is infinite and abundant.
As a quick reminder and related last week, we reviewed How to create a bigger impact by being decisive. It was very impactful you can read it here or if you prefer video you can watch it.
The great ones understand and adhere to the principle that life is always seeking greater, and fuller expression of itself.
Very Simple: “THE HIGHEST FORM OF COMPETITION IS CREATION”
To land the plane, the best example is the automobile industry history or creation from Henry Ford in the late 1800 early 1900’s. Henry Ford when asked said this: “if I had asked the customer what they wanted – they would have said a “faster” horse not the automobile.”
The insights of Henry Ford lie on this principle below according to R Buckminster Fuller.
“You Never Change things by fighting the existing reality. To Change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”
If Henry Ford didn’t think beyond the “competition”, his level playing field would have been let’s train faster horses. Instead he brought into existence something more reliable, faster than the horses.
Now whether in sport or business, any titans that we all admire have used this principle that I’m codifying here.
When you look at a Michael Jordan in Basketball in his prime or a Pele in Soccer, what made each of them outstanding is clearly their ability to create beyond themselves. They created at a different plane and a total new category that redefined the old paradigm in their field.
Amateur performers rest in the plane of “tic-tac” or fallacy definition of “competition”.
In other words, the number two imitate the number one and try to either do it faster, cheaper, or stronger. That’s an old model of the world.
That model might work, but IT is NOT effortless, and it has a price tag that is NOT optimal and can for sure be improved.
Just to be nerdy a bit if you don’t mind- let’s look at the power of understanding higher models.
If you want to watch the full nuances you can see it in this channel.
In other words, for example if you were tasked to show people the fastest way to reach the number twenty-five (given that you have five set of numbers “5”).
Clearly you have many options.
A second grader would probably select all 5 set of the “5” and use addition like (five plus five plus five plus five plus five equals twenty 25 e.g. 5+5+5+5+5 equals 25).
A fifth grader that is familiar with a higher mathematical model could choose multiplication and choose just two sets of “5” to make it twenty-five e.g. 5*5 equals 25
A senior in High school could choose just one set of five. By using the mathematical operation power.
Five powers 2 equal 25… 5ⁿ or 5 square 2 equals
As you can see all three of them are correct in getting the same results, but obviously the high school student has a higher knowing and mastery of the models.
It is not different when it comes to human performance, solving problems, leadership or creating a new reality.
The old model of competition is what the average performers are familiar with-
It is based on scarcity and the Newtonian model of the world, which describes the principles of physics that most of us learn in high school- For every action there’s an equal reaction.
That law is true just like addition makes sense above.
So, what is the higher model here then?
It’s the quantum physics model of the world that Albert Einstein has developed.
The basis of that model is the duality of particles/matters and wave like pattern of our realities, where any three dimensions “reality” is abstract.
Yes, quantum physics teaches us that particles are pocket of probabilities or that an observation is a collapsed “probabilities” of a wave pattern like.
To keep it simple the maestro Albert Einstein says it in a plain English by his famous quote.
Albert Einstein “problems cannot be solved at the same level of thinking than they were created at”.
The idea is that – everything is connected- for every action there is reaction but at the same time it’s all one; that understanding make you aware that it’s NOT a “fight” one against the other but rather all in one. That level of understanding makes one realized that in the end if you are not aware, you might be fighting yourself.
Why is that relevant?
It matters because what that mean is that it’s all about transformation and at the same time conservation of energy.
That’s what quantum physics brings to the table, that conservation of the energy systems (E=MC2), is really a statement that it’s all about transformation because everything is connected.
That’s the exciting news with quantum physics if one grasp it- we’re not separated, we’re all connected. Which means it’s all about learning how to transform.
In fact, that’s why I love Judo (the martial art I have done for so many years). It’s called the gentle way because it applies this principle of minimum effort for maximum yield (I have discussed that principle amply here in the past in this post).
It’s all about transforming that energy. For example, if someone pushes in Judo, you don’t push back, you use that as leverage, and same idea when someone pull you, you follow through and utilize that energy.
Now you probably might say enough, that you get it and how to do it?
Here are three easy steps on how to do it.
Step 1: Understand and study your field, your industry. Meaning what are the trends? What can you anticipate.
Step2: You need to know what is your unique genius? What is your X -factor?
Step3: You need to elevate your level of thinking- this is where the transformation happens.
For example, in Soccer- Lionel Messi- who is right now one the best player of his generation how can he elevate his thinking?
Level 1- Messi can think of his immediate goal which is to score goals for Barcelona so he can make his salary goals. That level of thinking will yield a level one performance.
Level 2- Messi can think of his performance as if he was scoring for the Barcelona fans. And winning for their fans. That level of thinking will yield a level two performance. Obviously, it’s going drive Messi to go beyond himself and his personal constraint.
Level 3– Messi can think of his performance as if he was performing to motivate more people to be soccer fans and soccer lover. That level of thinking will yield a level three performance. Obviously, it’s going drive Messi to go beyond even more.
Level 4-Messi can think of his performance as if he was performing to inspire anybody watching him play to be their very best and inspire excellence in their arts and in their crafts.
That level of thinking will yield a level four performance. Obviously, it’s going drive Messi to go beyond even further.
As you can see all these four levels are example about the same performer who is thinking at different levels.
What is clear the power generated by Messi at level 1 is NOT the same as the level 4 of Messi.
That’s the big secret that legends performers or icon perform at; some of them without knowing about it as it was part of their “standards”.
When you think at that level, the only outcome is creation, because you are connected to the field, to something bigger than yourself on top of using your unique genius.
This is how champions are trailblazing their fields.
This is how they become Number one in their fields without “competing”, as they are really creating for the greater good.
Then if you want to win and have a team, foster an environment where people can freely create.
If you are sole provider create that environment within yourself by following these three steps.
Do not forget, the highest form of competition is Creation.
Check the video here.
Please comment below on what are your thoughts ?
Till next Time,
DARE TO SHINE
If there’s one thing that separate the world class in any field from average performers is their impact, productivity and results.
As we reviewed last week, legend performers demonstrate more courage. Their courage is the foundation for their actions which yield results. You can see it here in video or in the blog here.
The foundation of their courage is found in the clarity they have forged and developed over time.
One of my most favorite quote from Winston Churchill is the following “Courage is the greatest virtues because it guarantees the others.”
Now, the most important element that ignite courage is what we’re going to discuss here.
Courage if not ignited becomes merely “false” pride.
What ignites courage is Decisiveness.
Decisiveness is what separates the weak leaders, players from the strongest ones in any field.
Decision comes from Latin decidere, literally, to cut off, from de- + caedere to cut.
What are you cutting yourself from when you decide?
You are putting to bed, “other options” versus THE option that you have chosen.
If you are like me, you probably like to keep your options open, so that you can take advantage of as many opportunities that exist out there.
The feeling of being “constricted” can be scary especially when you have a high performer identity and feel that you have many aptitudes.
In fact, one of my favorite quote from Bruce Lee is “having No limitation, as your limitation”.
So how do world class differentiate and tap into the power of being decisive?
We will answer this question throughout the next points below.
What is important to notice are the three core mistakes that the mediocre ones make when it comes to deciding.
The biggest mistake they make is this-
They play, or they lead from the position to NOT “loose”. The mediocre players play NOT to lose.
In a way their entire strategy is merely defensive, scarcity based, fear driven- their vision is restricted to a minimalistic view of the opportunities and what’s possible.
That strategy clearly is an underlining lack of confidence and courage. It’s playing small.
There’s a huge distinction I want to make, whether you are defensive player or not.
The reality is, if you play to win, you know that you need to mix and match both, by being offensive and defensive.
The bottom line is that if you play NOT to lose, you are already throwing the towel about what is possible for you and your dream.
People that are playing to win, have a vision and have ambitions.
Now the second mistake that the average performers make is they worry about how they will be perceived if their decision wasn’t right- they worry about what people will think of them.
They get frozen by analysis paralysis.
While the world class know that mistake will be made, but here’s their biggest secret-
They know that mistake will be made, but they are assuming full responsibility of their decisions outcome. That ownership mentality is the hidden secret of world class.
They know, either they win either they learn- regardless they are winning in both cases- That’s the champions’ point of view.
The third mistake that the mediocre performers fail to grasp is that “not making a decision, is making a decision”.
Are you aware of the decision you are NOT making?
Are you aware of the options you are not letting go, but that you know you should let go?
Why is that important?
When you let go, you create more room for the new opportunities that you can welcome.
This is how world class are decisive. their foundation is courage and clarity.
As discussed last week, with courage, they can step into their why, and with clarity they get connected to what matters to them.
The world class look in into what they want the most.
With clarity you know what your priorities are. You know what matters to you.
With courage, you know why it matters to you.
Now with these two as a foundation, you can build on. The video here give a great perspective.
Now let’s be practical. The great news is that decisiveness is something that can be exercised, practiced and improved.
Let’s say you have 3 options, A, B, C, options to choose from. And they’re all equally valid options.
How Do you decide?
Lock in with courage and clarity, here’s the third option that I learn from a good friend of mine.
It’s called the “consider box”.
It’s a way to “free” your mental and nervous capacity so you can process on your choices.
The consider box allows you to choose one option and to allows you to “store” the two other choices unto a “consider box”.
If you choose, let’s say option B- you would store A, and C into the consider box.
Meaning as you moved forward with your option B, you will always have a time to come back and look at B, C as viable options.
This trick is a way to “trick” our subconscious mind. Especially for people that wants to keep their options open as we discussed in the beginning.
In a way, the power of constricting is helpful in those instances.
To go deeper, we need to “limit” our options. It might seem contradictory, but not really if you analyze it.
To manifest faster, “limiting” our options is like focusing like a laser beam- Like the power of condensation is what brings the rain. The tighter the pressure, the most likely brings the rain.
That is the maturity, the world class leader has awakened to.
They are balancing when to “restrict” their options and when to keep it open so they can get the optimal choice.
But the choice is simple.
Not deciding is deciding. To get out of that vicious cycle.
Make sure to build on the foundation of courage, clarity, and consider box. So, you can decide faster and create more impact sooner.
You can check the video here.
I learned this from a friend and mentor of mine, Jeff Spencer who is an Olympian and coach to lot of peak performers.
This a triad for decision making. Jeff ‘s framework suggests asking yourself three questions.
- Is it the right time to pursue this choice?
In other words, adding the time dimension is helping to weigh in about the primacy of the opportunities. Which one is more ripped to pursue?
- Do I have the right skills to successfully engage in it?
This question allows you to gauge your skill level, your improvement and development plan
- Can I handle the accountability if the outcome is not as I envisioned?
This question helps us clarify our ownership. To take full responsibility like I shared initially in the beginning.
I hope with these insights, this will help you practice your decisiveness skills and do not forget, the more you train it, the better you become.
Till next time,
DARE TO SHINE
We’re going to visit together how world class amplify courage so they can act and get the results they want by leveraging their past and their roots.
Why is that relevant to you?
Let’s face it, anything worthwhile in our lives that we acquired and allowed us to expand further, required courage.
Whether it’s giving birth, getting a degree, winning a championship, negotiate a major business deal,
We need courage.
As one of my mentor Mary Morrissey would say, fear is the border of the reality that we know.
Courage is the element and character that allows us to cross the unknown territories.
Courage allows us to act during uncertain times, and as we know the only way to get results is to act.
So, courage is an active component that is necessary to manifest.
Before we go further, quickly I wanted to quickly remind you of last week blog and video what we discussed- HOW LEGEND PERFORMERS OUTPERFORM THEIR COMPETITION BY MASTERING “ONE” SINGLE PROMINENT SKILL?
First let’s dive into the root and origin of courage.
Courage comes from Latin root word “Coeur”, which means heart.
In a way, an act of courage requires people to step beyond the logic brain and the seen; courage allows us to stretch ourselves and to go beyond our comfort zone. Courage requires a motive and a heart pull toward our intention, the definite purpose we’re after.
Courage is needed for anything that allows you to grow and become the bigger you.
The question then is, “How do you use your roots, or past” to amplify courage?
Courage is needed to go beyond fear.
Why do we get fear?
Fear is born out of uncertainty.
Warren Buffet, one of the icon investor of our modern times, shares his wisdom relative to investing –that risk “exist” out of Not knowing.
Not knowing, creates fear for most of us, and that’s what freezes people to NOT act.
This is where the leverage comes in. How do you use your roots, your past to create knowingness?
When you know, that you know, you generate certainty, which eliminates the doubt.
Your deep knowing fosters you to take action, furthermore to get results.
This is why, many teachers talk about having clarity on your why-.
Clarity main role is to help defined what matters the most to you. Clarity help make things understandable.
When you have clarity, the “yes” is clearer and the “no” becomes more decisive and punctuated.
Having clarity allows you to prioritize faster.
What helped me to understand this principle was the understanding that- in order to manifest and ground our ideas into physical form- we need to embrace “restriction” or “limitation”.
It sounds counter intuitive for someone that longs freedom like myself; but the reality is that for example discipline allow you to build structure and develop more freedom actually.
If you have self-discipline for example in your eating habits, you can choose to eat healthier and then that gives you the freedom to be more vibrant and healthier. Self-discipline to Not eat everything and restricting yourself gives you the freedom you need to live longer and be more productive.
That’s fundamental- clarity allows you to be more productive, but even more it allows you to gain more courage.
When you know your roots, when you know who you are- you have that certainty- it’s a fact that cannot be taken away from you. You can build on that. The easiest way is to claim a piece of heritage, or roots or past that you are always proud of.
The devil’s advocate would say, what if I’m not proud of my roots or past?
Let’s address that.
This is where the masters and champions rise. They use one optimal tool- they switch it around, by asking themselves- What could I learn from the past/roots/heritage that could serve me?
How can I utilize the bad memories as learning lesson and stepping stones to claim what I want for myself?
Stanford Ph researcher Carol Dweck coined it “the growth mindset.” In her book Mindset.
The reality is this- people trained with this framework are always in the learning mode and will always grow.
So, to bring it home, for example, if someone as a past that they are Not proud off, the champions turns it into a learning lesson on things to avoid in the future.
As an example, if someone has had an abusive parent, one of the “learning” could be going forward, I want to make sure that my children do not suffer what I went through, so I know what I don’t want- which also is form of clarity.
Not knowing what you want is also a good boundary settler; mainly because you learn what you stand for and what you can tolerate.
In a way, regardless of what happened in the pass, you can build on that knowingness as a benchmark to generate more courage.
The way you do that is by being grateful about the experiences you have been exposed to.
By claiming your roots and your learning, you are grounding your certainty.
You can see the video here.
Emerson says- “Every person is a doorway through which infinite passes into the finite and through which the Universal becomes individual”
As you claim your certainty, and your knowingness, you can acknowledge your experiences and your learnings. As you step to acknowledge what you have, you are stepping into gratitude which is the frequency of abundance.
The big secret here is that you cannot be grateful and be fearful at the same time.
It becomes a reinvigorating power, all the way from using your roots or past to move forward and step into courage.
The way you step into courage, is to step into what you know.
Now back at you,
How do you generate courage?
Please comment below… and share if you find this useful.
There are differences in results many times when we compare legend performers versus the average performers or the mediocre ones.
Sometimes, we can point out to many different factors even internally.
Today we’ll discuss one factor that is overlook BUT that is the fundamental factor that separate world class with average performers.
Before we move further, let’s pause here for a minute and take a deep breathe.
Can you think about, what you were just thinking about the same moment when you read my request about taking a deep breathe?
What was the thought you just had?
Was it like come on, Soul what is your point?
Or were you curious?
Regardless of your thoughts, what I wanted to highlight, is that unique gift underutilized we have as human being-It’s the skill of METACOGNITION.
Before we dig further and see why and how world class leverage it.
I wanted to quickly remind you of last week blog and video what we discussed- How can you embrace challenges and problems so they can serve you to go to your next level of performance?
Coming back to today’s topic. You can check this week video as well here.
What is the one skill that allows legend performers to excel in their field beyond any norm?
They have learned to master the skill of metacognition.
Let’s take a high-level view first, to put this in context, as most of us take this for granted.
The first perspective is to look at our surroundings, as human species, we have different kingdom that co-exist with our human race; including the vegetation kingdom with is made of anything that constitute plants, trees etc.… there’s also the animal kingdom within which we can identify different type (from reptiles, all the way to the mammal animal (like cows) and families like Monkey which are all closer to us. The monkey family that is closer to us is classified as Homo Sapiens…
A quick reminder of that classification is reminding us of the level of “awareness” or intelligence that exist within those different species. Those level of “intelligence” is what allowed them to “control” their environment and be more causal than effect and reactive. Homo which is referring to Human is knowledgeable and aware in sapiens.
Now We human being are Homo Sapiens Sapiens. In a way, we know that we know.
We can think about, what we were thinking about.
I never paid attention to that skill in my anthropology class in high school.
But now I truly understand the value of it and to take it further, the world class performers leverage that skill.
Now how is this skill leverage by world class?
As you think about what you were thinking about, within the same bleep of a moment, you tap into your ultimate power -the sacred moment of deliberate choice.
It’s that “sacred moment” that Viktor Frankl called the last frontier of human freedom in his book man search for meaning.
That moment exists within us, and most importantly that moment is for us at any given moment as long as we breathe and have life in us.
The masters have learned to tap into that moment most often than the average performers.
How is that so?
When you can pause, and be present to what have been thinking, you can influence, and DECIDE, if the thoughts you just had are serving you, or harming you.
What you were just thinking about, it is empowering you to move forward or it is constraining and limiting you?
Being aware of that moment allow you to guide your focus-
As you guide your focus, you guide what you feel, as you guide what you feel you guide your energy, as you guide your energy, you guide your actions, as you guide your actions, you influence your results.
You might have heard a different version of what I’m sharing here, but what I wanted to point out MOST IMPORTANTLY here, is that all this start with the meta-cognition gift we all have.
Being aware of that gift is the first step, to be accountable and know that anybody can exercise that skill.
A fundamental law of nature that exist at all levels is this “what we don’t use, we lose; what we don’t exercise is hard to build etc.…
So, the skill of meta-cognition is a skill that the legend performers rely on and train on a moment-moment basis, not because they are special or have innate talents, but because they are present to those moments.
Those moments when you sum it up, become the defining moments of winning the gold in the Olympics ten or fifteen years down the road versus that young person choosing a more dramatic route ten or fifteen years later.
How can you deliberately train that skill?
Use your watch, to remind yourself every hour-
Pause- Think about what you are thinking about.
Then as you get better, drop that interval time to 30 minutes, then 15 minutes, until it starts becoming a habit.
Hope this makes sense and serves you.
I’m curious to hear your feedback. Please Go below and please comment.
Till next Time, Dare To Shine.
if you prefer video- Check it out here.
How can you embrace challenges and problems so they can serve you to go to your next level of performance?
The real problem is, that human conditions and reflex, is that as soon as we get a challenge or a problem, we tend to get “annoyed” in a way to NOT welcome the problems.
Our natural reflex to repulse the problem right away, while in fact we should welcome it and use that energy for our own good.
That’s the main foundation of Judo as we will learn later in this post.
Quick reminder if you haven’t seen last week post, we got a lot of positive feedback you can check it here or if you prefer the video you can get it here.
Before, we get to give the tips, it’s important we build the foundations.
In Judo (which stands for the gentle way), the martial art created by Jigoro Kano, the judoka (or judo practitioner), is taught to NOT fight force versus force.
Unlike most striking martial arts, Judo core principle is “minimum effort, for maximum results”.
How is this accomplished?
By understanding three principles-
- The principle of Leverage-
Archimedes said, “Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it, and I shall move the world.”
In Judo it’s all about leverage, where no matter your size, you can subdue in the ground or throw your opponent as long you understand where the fulcrum is (In most case it would be the opponent’s “G” gravity center while the opponent is standing).
- You don’t fight force with force–
Instead You use Sir Isaac Newton third law of motion to your advantage.
The third law states that for every action (force) in nature there is an equal and opposite reaction.
The way you optimize this law into your favor is to lean on it, and act on it from a “higher” vantage point like suggests Albert Einstein in his famous quote – “Problems cannot be solved at the same level of thinking than they were created at”.
That lead us to the next principle that make master Judoka, powerful beyond measure
- The Power of Anticipation
This principle rest on the understanding of Newton third law, but it takes it further into the realm of Quantum physics, where the judoka understands with an abundance thinking vantage point that the opponent is an extension of himself and therefore can anticipate, induce, and probe the opponent to act in certain way.
Now why all these matter to you?
How does this relate to you, your challenges? And how can this help you resolves your problems and propel you to your next chapter?
The best answer to that is one my all-time quote from Napoleon Hill which says, “In Every adversity, there is an equal, or greater benefit if you look for it”.
Well is this mere philosophy or it could be real?
The bottom line is that it’s reality and this is why.
Problems and challenges, we face, are the dumbbells for our human spirit to grow more of life in us.
To grow more muscle mass, develop stronger bone density, in our workouts we need weight resistance to push/pull against.
That makes sense when you hear it, but how do I really adhere to this principle without any doubt.
The key is to understand the fact that life in us is always looking to expand into a freer, fuller expression of itself.
The seed is looking to grow into more, by becoming a tree or a flower, which,
in its own timing, will produce more seeds; so does life in us seeks to become more, to grow more through us…
Owning this foundation is the master key to use Judo three principles for your next level of breakthrough when facing challenges or adversity.
Now let’s take it into our own world.
I guess you have some goals, vision, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this.
In that area that you aspire to grow, or the area where you have challenges, can you think of any titan, any legend that you admire?
Before you move forward, please be sure that you have written down that person name (or it could more than one which is even better for this exercise)
Mine for example, in sport would be Michael Jordan, in Physics Albert Einstein, in Life it’s my grandfather Amoru Asama, in Politics, Nelson Mandela etc…
How about you? Is it business, Is it relationship?
I assume you have that person in mind?
Question for you.
What do you think make that person stands out?
What is this person major differentiator?
What differentiate them is the way the way they look at problems and challenges.
While the average people in their industry and field “compete”, the legends create.
The very best, the legends in all discipline, they don’t “compete”, they create.
To check the video, you can look at it here.
First, it’s important to understand that society has conditioned most people to lose sight of the true meaning of competing.
The Newtonian model of the world, has trained most people to fight force with force, while in fact if you look at the Etymology of COMPETE- it comes from Latin, competere to seek together, from Latin, to come together.
In reality, the true function of competing is to help each other get better and to come together.
While the general definition of competing has taken a color of “combative, which leads to Ego versus ego is a more restrictive view of what competition really stands for.
That Newtonian model view of the world sees us divided, as pure individuals who needs to win or lose.
That mode of thinking is a” survival view” of the world, very deterministic perspective that leads people to perform on a scarcity vibration- of win or lose.
That mode of thinking is for beginner or average performer- who fight force versus force.
That methodology works to a certain extent, but that cannot make you the leader in your industry. At that level- it’s almost impossible to dwarf your problems.
The great ones understand the true meaning of creating- which means “to bring into existence” something new. This understanding of creating instead of “competing” really stem from a deeper understanding that there’s enough to be shared. It’s not really a lack of resources, but a distribution problem.
This is quantum model view of looking at problems, which transcends the Newtonian model.
The Newtonian model works, but that is not optimal.
It’s like different ways to get to the number twenty-five giving that you have potential of using 5 sets of unique digits.
five plus five plus…. five time, will yield twenty-five.
Five times five will yield twenty-five.
So, the result is the same but in the addition case, you are using five “five” and in the multiplication case you are using only two “five”. The point is that one is using leverage and the other is not.
This is where the Judo principles come in handy.
How to use leverage, how to anticipate and how to step above the problems energy coming at you so you can develop yourself to the next level.
The easiest way to remember this is to look at problems as the energy, the force, the resistance coming toward you.
As a good judoka, what do you want to do?
You will not fight force versus force, you will step aside or above the challenge and “use” its own power against itself. If you look at the video- it’s well illustrated here.
To bring this home, I love R. Buckminster Fuller quote below quote “You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”
Okay how to be pragmatic and how to apply Judo here.
The video here helps.
Three questions below will help you flip challenges over their head so they can become an asset and NOT a liability for you.
What can I learn from this situation, problem, challenge
What capacity can I develop, grow through this problem
How can I use these new capacity, these new skills, to serve more, to contribute?
I hope this serves you.
Stay tuned as next week we’ll work on building this further.
Please share this along.
We reviewed in the previous post How To Reach Faster Your Goals Through Your Past? If you didn’t see it yet, you can check it out here.
Today, we’re going to review how to govern over our goals, projects, our dreams and lead the game with indomitable confidence…
If it sounds or feel like a bold promise, it is.
I’m going to do my part and share some personal perspectives with you “with confidence” just to illustrate the point of this blog.
I am confident that in the end of this sharing you will be able to understand on how to generate confidence at will when you need it.
How about that for a confident and bold promise?
Are you game?
If you’re ready for a ride, let’s jump in.
It’s very important to discern one key distinction about confidence.
Confidence is NOT Arrogance, and it is one of the major myth misunderstood concept out there.
What is the difference and the nuance between Arrogance and confidence?
Arrogance is always related to the ego and it has a sense of entitlement that comes from people associating with the past.
Arrogance is born from a false sense of superiority by comparing self to other people; this is why arrogance is limited at the ego level, because it is concerned with competing and comparing self to others; While confidence on the other hand has an expanded perspective because it is looking beyond self as we will understand soon.
Arrogance is framed from a relative “position” vantage point. For example, a prince who has inherited the title of “prince” because of his birth parents might feel arrogant toward a non-royal child because of society standards. Arrogance is not sustainable and not build on solid foundation, while confidence is timeless, and without boundaries as we will see later.
Another extrapolation to not confuse, is the far-right polarization of arrogance, or sometimes associated with being presumptuous, which is even worse than arrogance as it’s an empty sense of arrogance, in a way that it is purely based on a sense of entitlement and with lack of respect towards other.
Notice, Arrogance cannot exist by itself- Arrogance needs a company- arrogance is always in context with someone.
Second major misunderstood myth about confidence is what I called the amateur confidence.
The amateur tie a direct correlation between confidence and performance, results or outcome achieved or attained. That’s a rookie move. Confidence comes from within and is not tied to our performance.
Not to alienate this popular believes that suggests that we build stronger confidence as we perform better. That’s the confidence built in the “alike” of the doubting Thomas who always claimed that
I’ll believe it when I see it first.
In fact, part of the human condition leads us to lean toward that kind of conditioning since birth.
We learn to develop confidence based on our previous actions; In many cases, based on our past behaviors and actions we are rewarded accordingly. In a way we are trained to rely on “conditional confidence” based on our past behavior; Kind of “karmic” confidence;
Confidence is something that is NOT karmic, in fact that’s probably one of the only element that normalizes our lives on earth like death is for every human being.
Now, that we know what confidence is NOT, let’s learn about what confidence is all about.
Confidence comes from the Latin CON- fidere. The prefix “con” means “with”, while “fidere” means faith, trust; meaning confidence is derived from the meaning of moving with faith and trust.
It’s important to make a difference here, faith is not necessary here a “religious” or blind faith- rather a trust based on a reliability and on something that we can count on no matter what.
What that means?
Confidence, unlike arrogance (which is past based) is forward looking -based on trust.
What trust are we talking about?
It’s a trust based on an unfailing relationship- that relationship is the covenant we have, before even our birth since the first heart beat we have in our mother womb- it’s the abiding relationship with life itself that’s beyond any circumstances, or any human beings.
Any master, any legend that you truly admire that built and develop an unshakable confidence had at some point the deep seeded belief- that no matter what their circumstances are, there is something within them that is bigger than their current circumstances.
Whether, it’s Thomas Edison creating the light bulb, Columbus daring the ocean, Steve Jobs chasing his dreams of being a business tycoon and making a “dent” in this universe, or a Michael Jordan excelling on basketball court… they all had one thing in common- they all new within that there’s something greater than what their circumstances were.
Confidence is built inside out- Not outside in unlike many amateurs suggest it.
Now let’s find out and see how we can develop that infallible confidence.
I’m going to pause here and I really hope you do this exercise (that might seem trivia), as this is something to be experienced, again and again, no matter how many times you’ve done it.
Let’s take a deep breathe right now.
As you are reading these lines. Could you please stop for 5 second and take a deep breathe?
Can you feel the air in your lung?
Please take another deep breath. three or four times if you can.
Now let me ask you the simple question, that breathe that you took, did you perform that breathe by yourself?
Were you mindful and present in those inhalation moment?
Did you feel this power that is with you that allows your heart to beat as well?
There is a power with you, as you feel your breath, or your heartbeat.
The truth is, no matter how you want to call it, Life energy or spirit or field or God, or no matter
your religious affiliation, that power is real beyond any circumstances, beyond any interpretation.
To simplify, why don’t we call that power as life itself?
Now, this is where you build within your unshakable confidence-with three principles that are undeniable.
If you prefer video, you can check it out here.
Adhere to the principle without a doubt, that life given to you, precede any circumstance, organization, institution that there is.
The fact is that life in you- is relevant as long as you keep breathing, because that’s the definition of life itself in this case of utilitarian perspective. Life itself doesn’t have waste-
What is not used dies, or it’s supposed to grow.
That brings me to the point about life itself- Life is always seeking to grow and expand. The seed grow from the ground to become a tree.
Life is always seeking to expand itself by definition or it will evolve and change its form.
It’s trusting in that relationship with life, that as long as I breathe, as long as my heart beat,
I can trust life itself. It’s a covenant with something bigger than myself, or any other relationship we can experience as human being because it’s precede everything else.
That’s where true confidence is built. From within. It’s not something given to you, or based on “conditional results”.
Indomitable Confidence is build from the deliberate practice of understanding our relationship with life itself, that goes beyond any society norms, or standard, or results.
Moving forward with Confidence is then trusting on the relationship we have with life itself.
It’s acknowledging that there is, this power inside us, with us, by us and for us always at all times as long as we keep breathing and our heart is beating.
If one truly understands this principle and adhere to it. Life itself become a playground where you are here to develop and grow your capacity, so you can contribute.
With that, you can approach any game, any project, any goal with unshakable confidence- that no matter the outcome, you will crush it.
The video here is also explicit here.
Now I’m curious about you, Post below what you do to generate your confidence?
Till next Time, This is Your Moment-DARE TO SHINE