How can you embrace challenges and problems so they can serve you to go to your next level of performance?
The real problem is, that human conditions and reflex, is that as soon as we get a challenge or a problem, we tend to get “annoyed” in a way to NOT welcome the problems.
Our natural reflex to repulse the problem right away, while in fact we should welcome it and use that energy for our own good.
That’s the main foundation of Judo as we will learn later in this post.
Quick reminder if you haven’t seen last week post, we got a lot of positive feedback you can check it here or if you prefer the video you can get it here.
Before, we get to give the tips, it’s important we build the foundations.
In Judo (which stands for the gentle way), the martial art created by Jigoro Kano, the judoka (or judo practitioner), is taught to NOT fight force versus force.
Unlike most striking martial arts, Judo core principle is “minimum effort, for maximum results”.
How is this accomplished?
By understanding three principles-
- The principle of Leverage-
Archimedes said, “Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it, and I shall move the world.”
In Judo it’s all about leverage, where no matter your size, you can subdue in the ground or throw your opponent as long you understand where the fulcrum is (In most case it would be the opponent’s “G” gravity center while the opponent is standing).
- You don’t fight force with force–
Instead You use Sir Isaac Newton third law of motion to your advantage.
The third law states that for every action (force) in nature there is an equal and opposite reaction.
The way you optimize this law into your favor is to lean on it, and act on it from a “higher” vantage point like suggests Albert Einstein in his famous quote – “Problems cannot be solved at the same level of thinking than they were created at”.
That lead us to the next principle that make master Judoka, powerful beyond measure
- The Power of Anticipation
This principle rest on the understanding of Newton third law, but it takes it further into the realm of Quantum physics, where the judoka understands with an abundance thinking vantage point that the opponent is an extension of himself and therefore can anticipate, induce, and probe the opponent to act in certain way.
Now why all these matter to you?
How does this relate to you, your challenges? And how can this help you resolves your problems and propel you to your next chapter?
The best answer to that is one my all-time quote from Napoleon Hill which says, “In Every adversity, there is an equal, or greater benefit if you look for it”.
Well is this mere philosophy or it could be real?
The bottom line is that it’s reality and this is why.
Problems and challenges, we face, are the dumbbells for our human spirit to grow more of life in us.
To grow more muscle mass, develop stronger bone density, in our workouts we need weight resistance to push/pull against.
That makes sense when you hear it, but how do I really adhere to this principle without any doubt.
The key is to understand the fact that life in us is always looking to expand into a freer, fuller expression of itself.
The seed is looking to grow into more, by becoming a tree or a flower, which,
in its own timing, will produce more seeds; so does life in us seeks to become more, to grow more through us…
Owning this foundation is the master key to use Judo three principles for your next level of breakthrough when facing challenges or adversity.
Now let’s take it into our own world.
I guess you have some goals, vision, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this.
In that area that you aspire to grow, or the area where you have challenges, can you think of any titan, any legend that you admire?
Before you move forward, please be sure that you have written down that person name (or it could more than one which is even better for this exercise)
Mine for example, in sport would be Michael Jordan, in Physics Albert Einstein, in Life it’s my grandfather Amoru Asama, in Politics, Nelson Mandela etc…
How about you? Is it business, Is it relationship?
I assume you have that person in mind?
Question for you.
What do you think make that person stands out?
What is this person major differentiator?
What differentiate them is the way the way they look at problems and challenges.
While the average people in their industry and field “compete”, the legends create.
The very best, the legends in all discipline, they don’t “compete”, they create.
To check the video, you can look at it here.
First, it’s important to understand that society has conditioned most people to lose sight of the true meaning of competing.
The Newtonian model of the world, has trained most people to fight force with force, while in fact if you look at the Etymology of COMPETE- it comes from Latin, competere to seek together, from Latin, to come together.
In reality, the true function of competing is to help each other get better and to come together.
While the general definition of competing has taken a color of “combative, which leads to Ego versus ego is a more restrictive view of what competition really stands for.
That Newtonian model view of the world sees us divided, as pure individuals who needs to win or lose.
That mode of thinking is a” survival view” of the world, very deterministic perspective that leads people to perform on a scarcity vibration- of win or lose.
That mode of thinking is for beginner or average performer- who fight force versus force.
That methodology works to a certain extent, but that cannot make you the leader in your industry. At that level- it’s almost impossible to dwarf your problems.
The great ones understand the true meaning of creating- which means “to bring into existence” something new. This understanding of creating instead of “competing” really stem from a deeper understanding that there’s enough to be shared. It’s not really a lack of resources, but a distribution problem.
This is quantum model view of looking at problems, which transcends the Newtonian model.
The Newtonian model works, but that is not optimal.
It’s like different ways to get to the number twenty-five giving that you have potential of using 5 sets of unique digits.
five plus five plus…. five time, will yield twenty-five.
Five times five will yield twenty-five.
So, the result is the same but in the addition case, you are using five “five” and in the multiplication case you are using only two “five”. The point is that one is using leverage and the other is not.
This is where the Judo principles come in handy.
How to use leverage, how to anticipate and how to step above the problems energy coming at you so you can develop yourself to the next level.
The easiest way to remember this is to look at problems as the energy, the force, the resistance coming toward you.
As a good judoka, what do you want to do?
You will not fight force versus force, you will step aside or above the challenge and “use” its own power against itself. If you look at the video- it’s well illustrated here.
To bring this home, I love R. Buckminster Fuller quote below quote “You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”
Okay how to be pragmatic and how to apply Judo here.
The video here helps.
Three questions below will help you flip challenges over their head so they can become an asset and NOT a liability for you.
What can I learn from this situation, problem, challenge
What capacity can I develop, grow through this problem
How can I use these new capacity, these new skills, to serve more, to contribute?
I hope this serves you.
Stay tuned as next week we’ll work on building this further.
Please share this along.
We reviewed in the previous post How To Reach Faster Your Goals Through Your Past? If you didn’t see it yet, you can check it out here.
Today, we’re going to review how to govern over our goals, projects, our dreams and lead the game with indomitable confidence…
If it sounds or feel like a bold promise, it is.
I’m going to do my part and share some personal perspectives with you “with confidence” just to illustrate the point of this blog.
I am confident that in the end of this sharing you will be able to understand on how to generate confidence at will when you need it.
How about that for a confident and bold promise?
Are you game?
If you’re ready for a ride, let’s jump in.
It’s very important to discern one key distinction about confidence.
Confidence is NOT Arrogance, and it is one of the major myth misunderstood concept out there.
What is the difference and the nuance between Arrogance and confidence?
Arrogance is always related to the ego and it has a sense of entitlement that comes from people associating with the past.
Arrogance is born from a false sense of superiority by comparing self to other people; this is why arrogance is limited at the ego level, because it is concerned with competing and comparing self to others; While confidence on the other hand has an expanded perspective because it is looking beyond self as we will understand soon.
Arrogance is framed from a relative “position” vantage point. For example, a prince who has inherited the title of “prince” because of his birth parents might feel arrogant toward a non-royal child because of society standards. Arrogance is not sustainable and not build on solid foundation, while confidence is timeless, and without boundaries as we will see later.
Another extrapolation to not confuse, is the far-right polarization of arrogance, or sometimes associated with being presumptuous, which is even worse than arrogance as it’s an empty sense of arrogance, in a way that it is purely based on a sense of entitlement and with lack of respect towards other.
Notice, Arrogance cannot exist by itself- Arrogance needs a company- arrogance is always in context with someone.
Second major misunderstood myth about confidence is what I called the amateur confidence.
The amateur tie a direct correlation between confidence and performance, results or outcome achieved or attained. That’s a rookie move. Confidence comes from within and is not tied to our performance.
Not to alienate this popular believes that suggests that we build stronger confidence as we perform better. That’s the confidence built in the “alike” of the doubting Thomas who always claimed that
I’ll believe it when I see it first.
In fact, part of the human condition leads us to lean toward that kind of conditioning since birth.
We learn to develop confidence based on our previous actions; In many cases, based on our past behaviors and actions we are rewarded accordingly. In a way we are trained to rely on “conditional confidence” based on our past behavior; Kind of “karmic” confidence;
Confidence is something that is NOT karmic, in fact that’s probably one of the only element that normalizes our lives on earth like death is for every human being.
Now, that we know what confidence is NOT, let’s learn about what confidence is all about.
Confidence comes from the Latin CON- fidere. The prefix “con” means “with”, while “fidere” means faith, trust; meaning confidence is derived from the meaning of moving with faith and trust.
It’s important to make a difference here, faith is not necessary here a “religious” or blind faith- rather a trust based on a reliability and on something that we can count on no matter what.
What that means?
Confidence, unlike arrogance (which is past based) is forward looking -based on trust.
What trust are we talking about?
It’s a trust based on an unfailing relationship- that relationship is the covenant we have, before even our birth since the first heart beat we have in our mother womb- it’s the abiding relationship with life itself that’s beyond any circumstances, or any human beings.
Any master, any legend that you truly admire that built and develop an unshakable confidence had at some point the deep seeded belief- that no matter what their circumstances are, there is something within them that is bigger than their current circumstances.
Whether, it’s Thomas Edison creating the light bulb, Columbus daring the ocean, Steve Jobs chasing his dreams of being a business tycoon and making a “dent” in this universe, or a Michael Jordan excelling on basketball court… they all had one thing in common- they all new within that there’s something greater than what their circumstances were.
Confidence is built inside out- Not outside in unlike many amateurs suggest it.
Now let’s find out and see how we can develop that infallible confidence.
I’m going to pause here and I really hope you do this exercise (that might seem trivia), as this is something to be experienced, again and again, no matter how many times you’ve done it.
Let’s take a deep breathe right now.
As you are reading these lines. Could you please stop for 5 second and take a deep breathe?
Can you feel the air in your lung?
Please take another deep breath. three or four times if you can.
Now let me ask you the simple question, that breathe that you took, did you perform that breathe by yourself?
Were you mindful and present in those inhalation moment?
Did you feel this power that is with you that allows your heart to beat as well?
There is a power with you, as you feel your breath, or your heartbeat.
The truth is, no matter how you want to call it, Life energy or spirit or field or God, or no matter
your religious affiliation, that power is real beyond any circumstances, beyond any interpretation.
To simplify, why don’t we call that power as life itself?
Now, this is where you build within your unshakable confidence-with three principles that are undeniable.
If you prefer video, you can check it out here.
Adhere to the principle without a doubt, that life given to you, precede any circumstance, organization, institution that there is.
The fact is that life in you- is relevant as long as you keep breathing, because that’s the definition of life itself in this case of utilitarian perspective. Life itself doesn’t have waste-
What is not used dies, or it’s supposed to grow.
That brings me to the point about life itself- Life is always seeking to grow and expand. The seed grow from the ground to become a tree.
Life is always seeking to expand itself by definition or it will evolve and change its form.
It’s trusting in that relationship with life, that as long as I breathe, as long as my heart beat,
I can trust life itself. It’s a covenant with something bigger than myself, or any other relationship we can experience as human being because it’s precede everything else.
That’s where true confidence is built. From within. It’s not something given to you, or based on “conditional results”.
Indomitable Confidence is build from the deliberate practice of understanding our relationship with life itself, that goes beyond any society norms, or standard, or results.
Moving forward with Confidence is then trusting on the relationship we have with life itself.
It’s acknowledging that there is, this power inside us, with us, by us and for us always at all times as long as we keep breathing and our heart is beating.
If one truly understands this principle and adhere to it. Life itself become a playground where you are here to develop and grow your capacity, so you can contribute.
With that, you can approach any game, any project, any goal with unshakable confidence- that no matter the outcome, you will crush it.
The video here is also explicit here.
Now I’m curious about you, Post below what you do to generate your confidence?
Till next Time, This is Your Moment-DARE TO SHINE
We reviewed in the previous post How to amplify your vision. If you didn’t see it yet, we got a lot of positive feedback you might want to have a look here.
Today, we’re going to understand and review how to ignite, or spark again the fire anytime that vision fades away.
Why is that relevant to you?
There’s a real secret that throws out of balance most people. I promised, if you apply that one secret, that will change your life forever. It’s a promise.
There will be difficulties on the road; and some days will be cake walk, some days will be more challenging, and the best way to keep the vision alive is to ignite it with your why.
We’ll review why is that.You can check the video here as well.
In the end, I will share my why, if that can serve you and maybe inspire you to affirm, confirm your why.
First let remind ourselves of two principles we discussed last time.
The concept that humans are electromagnetic fields, emitting and receiving frequencies and vibration in/out into the field.
We are creating field around us and as within us- Albert Einstein demystified the relationship between matter and field with the new paradigm about the primacy of the field on matter (not matter having primacy on the field).
It’s well explained on the video here.
The second concept that we reviewed was the concept of emotions-
Emotions are on/off switches. It’s a simple concept that we overlook most of the time.
But if we can grasp the idea that our emotions are either off or on, it’s an empowering thought to realize that we are either happy, or sad, or angry etc.…
In other words, we cannot be happy and sad at the same time.
That seem obvious, but the reality of understanding this principle make you realized that at any moment we are feeling a certain feeling- and we cannot play ostrich because it’s very distinct feeling – a positive and empowering feeling or a disempowering and negative feeling- Which one would you rather be?
Again, here just to clear, I’m advocating to be always positive or always negative but since emotions are indicators it’s important to be aware of them as they dictate the vibration we’re in.
Now let’s jump on the secret I want to share.
Why is it a secret? Because most people even if they know about it, they don’t know the power of the principles.
When we are clear about our vision, it’s a huge step forward and a victory first step.
The trick about the way our brain is wired is that, as we get clear with our vision, our brain is trained by default for us to find out what’s missing to get that vision. (like an airplane auto adjusting to get to destination). So, our brain is wired and trained for survival to always look at what’s is missing.
However, here’s the secret- We need to move right back and control our focus to what we have (despite what we want to achieve).
That’s very tricky BUT this where almost all of us daily lose the terrain on this subtle detail.
As we exercise our intention- we need to take inventory of where we want to go Yet we need to REMEMBER what we have.
Why? Because what we have is our base; it’s the foundation on which we build what is yet to be manifested. We need to come from that place of creation and creativity to become more, to do more and ultimate to have more.
That’s the million Dollars secret that is simple but very powerful.
One example that I could give is let’s say if one of my resolution was to lose 20LBS this year, and so far, I have lost let’s say 3 LBS; our brain is wired in such way that we want to look at how to lose the remaining 17LBS; in a sense we’re looking and focusing on what we don’t have yet.
The correct action is to notice that and right away tune your vibration- be in a joy mode and acknowledge that you have lost already 3 LBS. come from that place of acknowledging emotionally even though mentally you know you have more to go.
What that does, that switch, make you want to lose more weight, because you are building from a place of joy and what you have. Rather than being a struggle a “fight” and say, 17LBs of wow etc.…
This is a simple example to illustrate my point about taking control of our intention and focus.
Make sure to Not vibrate from the “lack”- the switch is key- ultimately, your brain is showing what you don’t have- it’s telling us we don’t have it.
In fact, one quote that is a different perspective is from Neale Donald Walsh- “Gratitude in advance is the most powerful creative force in the universe”- Neale Donald Walsh.
I’m curious to read your definition of gratitude-Would you share below what is your definition of gratitude?
Now let’s transition to the second big piece of today’s topic on how to ignite our vision when it fades away.
The easy button answer is -Connect to Your WHY.
I was at conference over a decade ago, and I heard John Maxwell shares the metaphor that there are two important days in one’s life-
The day they are born and the day one’s find out what they are born for. That was a life changing moment for me at that moment as I was in a place of soul searching and I was lost.
Now in hindsight, I see the power of that still mainly because your vision and you why are interrelated and connected.
As we discussed about field- I would say that your why is the governing field energy of our motivations and actions.
If the field govern matter, we better sure that our why is clear and coherent as well.
So, the simple answer is to ask yourself-
Why your vision is important to you?
When you find that, it becomes a pull, No longer a push. Everyday becomes a riveting fulfilling and meaningful day.
As yourself why you want this vision manifest?
Keep asking deeper (five levels of why like a toddler whom would ask question until sunset) until you get to the point of answer that link you back to contribution to people, humanity. For the main reason that regardless of what you believe, you are here in human from in this plane and your contribution must relate to humanity otherwise there’s no reason to be here in this form.
I explain more on that in the video if you want to understand this perspective.
In many cases, your why is in the vicinity of your purpose.
The truth is that what you don’t use, you lose.
This not mere talk, in fact in cellular biology there a phenomenon called-Apoptosis- natural death of a cell based on its non-activity.
That’s not an easy answer – There are lot of resources very helpful- One of the consultant that articulates very well this on the business level is Simon Sinek (Start with Why); he illustrates in his Ted Talk how leaders inspire action and companies. One of the best watched Ted talk of all time- I highly suggest to watch it if you haven’t yet.
There are two ways to get to that answer I found.
One way is to toward the positive and the pull- What excites you- Why?
The other way is to look at your past and ask yourself what is deep pain that always you wouldn’t wish on anybody else?
What is deep pain? From the past- You wish it wouldn’t happen-
Why is that important to you.
As you can see I can spend hours talking about this, but let me illustrate with my why, maybe it serves you to elaborate on yours?
My pain came from witnessing at young age in Mali, financial “limitations” that I saw percolated into people behavior, some into victim hood or renunciation.
At young age, I didn’t know what it was, but deep down inside me, I always felt that there was more to life than what I was experiencing, and in way- I inherently knew that there’s something bigger than I could see. I just could feel it.
So, it pains me to see people with elephant might and strength to run away from small cat like if they felt they were little mice themselves.
That’s a pain that up today drives me- where- We feel like we don’t measure up sometimes- we feel sometimes that we don’t deserve to be here…it happens to all of us.
In fact, part of my journey and revelation was for me to realize after travelling the world that it wasn’t only an African problem, or European problem or an American problem but that’s it’s a humanity problem. It’s that pain that I don’t wish to anybody led me into doing what I’m doing now.
On the other hand, what excites me is to see people light up; I get excited to see people in their passion and in their full power with integrity and grace.
This is my why in one sentence.
It’s To Activate People To Bring Out Their Genius, So that We can elevate together, built and transform our world.
Another way finally that I called the worth it test-
If you could time travel and get to your death bed and look back teaching your great grands kids the worth it lesson.
Would you be able to tell them, I’m glad I did, because those where the things that matter to me.
And it is still worth it.
Would you be happy to do even if it was for free?
Or if there was only one person that you impacted – would you still be fulfilled
What would happen if you serve only one person- would you think it was still worth it.
Make sure your why pass the worth it test.
I know it’s a lot of content today and I hope that serves you.
If you think this was useful. Please feel free to share this with people as I would want you to join me in my why😊
Next week is exciting as we start to build on the concept of planning and managing with fears.
Are you ready? This is your moment-DARE TO SHINE
How To Amplify Your 2018 Vision?
Last week we discussed the importance to review and validate our vision despite the gifts of challenges that would come our way. If you didn’t get a chance to see it go here, we got great feedback.
Today we’ll discuss how to amplify the vision we are developing and why that matters to you in getting the results you are seeking.
To insist again on the element, we discussed two weeks ago- the importance of clarity in our vision.
Let me share a different perspective on clarity.
The clarity element is important if we look at our thoughts, ideas, intention and even ourselves as electromagnetic broadcaster field.
It’s not a secret that some specialized bio labs are able to measure the energy around our body itself, or put it blunt simple-
Haven’t you experienced interferences sometimes with electric wires?
We are emitting field of energies even though it’s not visible to the naked eye.
Why is that information relevant again?
It’s important to remind ourselves of this on a day/day basis because each frequency dictates different energies that we tune into and therefore provide different results. Like a radio receiver-emitter tune into different channel based on the frequency we choose.
Now let’s dig deeper into the amplification part.
So, if we understand the concept describe above, we understand that the clearer a vision is, the more focus it can become.
Now let’s dig into my favorite part, to make something clear means to make something understandable.
To make understandable to what? To our subconscious mind.
The subconscious mind doesn’t recognize the difference between a fact and a vision. It’s like a matrix it takes the form that we impress upon it. That’s why sometimes our dream feel so real while we’re asleep and that our conscious mind is asleep that it’s important to understand and pause on our subconscious mind.
In our case here, as discussed into an earlier post, our brain has what is called the RAS or reticular activating system (which allow us to pay attention to something that matter to us)- for example when you buy a new car you see it everywhere for some reasons- It’s not that more car are in the market all of the sudden the very next day, it just that your brain is paying more attention to it because it’s something that matters to you.
Also in those vein, our conscious mind is the CEO of our brain but it cannot store a lot of information for us to act on, that’s why lot of information are stored into the subconscious mind (like our abilities to walk etc..) are all encoded into us for us to be “unconsciously competent”..
Since our subconscious mind would play a major role in helping us “unconsciously” while we even sleep to get our vision amplified it’s important we understand what language the subconscious mind speaks.
The conscious mind is our rational mind while the subconscious mind is our Emotional Mind.
You can check the video option more detail here.
The subconscious speaks the language of emotions.
One of the fastest way to trigger emotion is through pictures (whether internal or external).
Is your vision well defined in such a way that you can picture yourself into doing, having, or being it?
The more specific you can be the more power to you.
As yourself the questions.
What do I want to experience? What do I want to do ?
What do I want to have?
Why do you want to have? To do?
Who do I want to experience with?
When do I want this to happen?
The idea of the question above here is to help you get clarity on your outcome.
CLEAR OUTCOME is what Napoleon Hill call a DEFINITENESS OF PURPOSE.
Hopefully the two quotes below help you dig further.
“You never change things by fighting the existing reality.
To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.” Buckminster Fuller
“The Secret of Change Is to Focus All of Your Energy, Not on Fighting the Old, But on Building the New.”Socrates.
As we get clear on our outcome, the next step is to pay attention to what’s working.
What am feeling? How is my emotional level? What results am I getting?
We got to be aware of our internal state, how you are feeling at any given time- because an emotion is a matrix of sensation in the body on which we attach label to.
The secret to remember is that emotions are on-off switches- in other words we either feel the emotion or we don’t. We are either associated to it or we are disassociated.
On top being clear on the pictures (internal or external), the tonality of our internal dialogue also can help amplify the emotion we are seeking. WHEN WE TALK TO OURSELVES, we talk to our head, with a tone voices, which varies from place to place and time to times.
So to amplify your vision, clarify the pictures and spiced up the emotions… that will lead us to the next step that will discuss next week. Step into your why-
Why this vision is important to you?
I’ll share with you a great resource as well for people that want to deepen their clarity.
Please post below your comments
Are you ready?
This is Your Moment & Dare To Shine
PS:Don’t forget if you prefer video,right here- reader’s digest summary just 10 minutes.
DO YOU WANT MAGIC PILL AGAINST FAILURE?
The First best kept secret is to have the best insurance against it…
We were supposed to review how to amplify our vision and dreams this week and I got knock down by a bad flu which is why this is getting to you later this week than usually… and guess what?
I realized that it’s third week of January almost last week of January that’s about when according to statistics a lot of people give up on their news year resolution.
So, I figure this was the best gift that life and nature threw at me… why not share some of the ninja mind tricks of the legends.
HOW DO LEGENDS & MASTER’S TRANSMUTE SETBACKS/FAILURES INTO GOLD MINES?
That’s our topic this week…
One thing that any success, dream building, vision achieving, have in common is setbacks, obstacles, or sometimes confused by some as “failures” that in the end of this section- I hope we will agree to put that word in the closet and evolve our lexicon.
Since It’s an important part of it, hope you are okay for us to discuss that this week.
I briefly discuss touch upon this in a different context month ago here… (CHAMPIONS ARE MASTERS AT FAILING FORWARD).
In fact, IF there was a skill that create the huge divide between the average and the legends it’s this:
Now you might have heard about what I just shared or maybe a version of it… But I’m sharing in today’s video, is a different vantage point that is more holistic whether you are a high performer, agnostic, scientist, marketers or any field.
It’s very simple- In my accounts- I like to start with one of my all-time favorite ninja -Jedi mind trick quote-“World class understand that “failure” are just learning steps towards their desire results.”
In fact, the word failure doesn’t exist in their mind-it’s all feedback, learning toward their ultimate goals.
If there’s something that cannot be substituted with anything in champions, it’s this aptitude they have developed.
They have embraced the word “fail forward”. In fact, the smartest ones, fail fast so they can get over that phase or stage of development.
Every Adversity carries with it the seeds equal of a greater benefit- Napoleon Hill.
This was democratized in think and grow rich over eighty years ago.
The reason I like this quote is because, it’s the root of many studies in many fields we see today (sport psychology, social sciences, high performance, organization behaviors etc.…), validating this somehow seemingly simplistic or philosophical view of transmuting adversity into winning rather I want to emphasize indeed the power of the potency of the quote for the initiates one.
Let’s dig deeper and fast forward 2006 well know and renown Ph D. researcher Carol Dweck from Stanford University wrote an award-winning book for “parenting-business-relationship-school” called Mindset, The New psychology of success “How we can learn to fulfill our potential” …
In this book that I highly recommend, she discusses her findings- in the end she “finds” that there are two mindsets- the one that drives to excellence and the one that impedes it (especially since childhood).
The good news in her findings is that the success mindset can be trained. Or the way she called it is the Growth mindset which is in opposite is the “fixed” mindset.
Fixed mindset is a less flexible approach to project, execution while it’s been encoded in this mindset, lot deterministic beliefs that are reflected in behaviors like you have such talent for this, you are so good at this and so on and so forth-That seemingly encouraging reinforcements to our children can be impeding in the long run because the “individual” identity is being pushed. That become a real challenge when for example the child grows up and wakes up and realized that “realities/results” is Not matching up the earlier programing; results are damaging. The adult or child self-confidence goes down and the less effort is exercised by that person.
While in the opposite the growth mindset praises the effort; praise the opportunity for standing up and trying again- in the end that child, that organization has fostered a winning formula for life and template that would last generations and decade to follow.
This is high level summary of that book, but I do hope you buy and read it as she has many studies and experiments that goes beyond my point here.
This book couldn’t codify better Napoleon Hill paradigm,
It’s all about learning.
In fact, let me take a bigger step and say in a bolder way- (as it is the theme that I’m stepping into this year). “No One is ever defeated until the time you accept defeat as result.”
This is not philosophy or psychology but a bold proposition rooted more toward the next point I want to make. When one succumbs to defeat, in my mind it’s a blasphemy to life itself.
Let’s pause here for a second -Take deep breathe- another one
Could you feel the oxygen running into your lungs?
No one on earth has given you that power- So for that reason- no human definition can supersede the idea that you are a winner already with that breathe and life in you- As far I see, no one is failure, no acts or behavior can define your being as a failure.
Now, please don’t quote me wrong-As a high performer, I’m NOT advocating complacency, but rather an inherent confidence builder in knowing that as long there’s any life on earth still in us no matter the age, the circumstances we still have that power that Napoleon Hill talks about to transmute any adversity into a winning situation if we look for those seeds.
In other words, any setback is just another step to your next level.
In fact, I’m not even sure we should use the word setbacks. That means we are looking at results in a linear way or into a Newtonian model based reality of the world, which works for a materialistic limited vantage point of the world.
But with quantum physics breakthrough we now understand the non-deterministic model of the world- success is NOT linear.
Every step is just another opportunity to get better.
Let’s put it this way, as shared earlier, to grow muscle and get stronger, we need to use weight “against” our muscle so they can grow stronger.
I called it the growth paradox ™- which I explain to my clients in more depth. It’s a language use by life itself for us to assert which that we want to create.
If we could instantly create with any thought, fear, we had in mind, the world would be crowded and it would be a crazy jungle to live in maybe, as our childhood fear mixed with some adults wants would coexist. That’s a fantasy that is up for a grab for our next evolution as we master to use our attention and intention properly.
Let’s face it…Most of us cannot control our own mindshare with today’s attention-grabbing economy. So, if we could master our mindshare and influence ourselves our realities would be much different.
As we learn to exercise the power for life given to us- which is META COGNITION, we learn to transmute adversity into winning step (Stay tuned for more in the coming weeks).
Without going into the deeper rabbit hole- I want to end with this.
“NO ONE IS READY FOR A THING UNTIL YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN ACQUIRE IT OR GET IT” …
Failures are stepping stones that build us into believing more into ourselves. The experiences,
The trial and tribulations are helping us to get clear into what matter to us.
Until we become clear about what matter to us, we won’t know what is the “end” game.
Knowing that end game is the ultimate game changer. If you enjoyed the reading here, feel free to check the video where I share a slight different angle here.
Next week we will dig deeper on how to amplify the vision.
As we explored sufficiently last week, we highlighted the value of having a vision, or a dream in a way that we need to be clear about what matter to us. If you want a quick refresh on the power of having a vision please check it out here.
Now the question that I get with clients is about clarity on what matters to them.
In other words, what I found in many literatures is the rhetoric “get crystal clear on your dreams, your goals, your vision and so on and so forth.”
It occurred to me that after talking to few clients-Getting that clarity was indeed the first real work and it is not always easy as one might think.
HOW TO GET CLEAR ON YOUR VISIONS & GOALS?
How Do you get clear on what matters to you?
It does seem like a trivia, but as you would see below the certainty that you’ll have after reading this. I figure I want to spend some time to help on this topic since this part of us owning our power is very important.
In fact, I have heard that there are two important days in someone life -The day you are born AND the day you find out what you are born for. That is usually extrapolated to one’s life purpose sometimes, and the reality is regardless of where this might apply (vision, dreams, purpose, goal, intention etc.…) the significance of getting the clarity of what matter to you is life transforming.
In the earlier post we reviewed the importance of having a vision. What I think is the best translation of that- is clearly the title- Are you clear on what matters to you?
The perspectives I’m going to share below will be helping you at any moment of doubt when you are looking for clarity in what matters to you.
First principle I Just want to reiterate,
what I found is that the process to create a vision is made easier when you are clear on what matters to you.
Now please note here two major components in what I’m sharing above- the concept of clarity and the concept of what matters the most to you. These two elements are critical elements to have your vision crystal clear.
Why don’t we start with the roots of what’s needed to be clear?
Clarity stem from Latin- claurus, which means to make it understandable; the attribute of what we’re looking to clarify is sharp, well defined, lucid and ultimately it permeates the quality of being coherent.
Clarity enables faster distinction; and faster distinction allows faster decision-making skills, faster decision skills allow freedom of choice, which provide more power.
So, if that is the case, we can say that clarity is the quality that allow a faster way to organize the content of the information you want to act on; which further allow for more coherence.
I want us to not miss this point above- the relationship between clarity and the power of decision.
Clarity and the power to be decisive are inextricably linked.
Why is that relevant to you?
For two main reasons-
Check video here
That lead us to the second principle
In his twenty-five years of research, Napoleon Hill (in Think and grow rich) finds out after studying the most successful people of his time that “Successful people have the ability to quickly make a decision and work on it while average people have harder time to decide and are slow to make a decision”.
Why is this relevant to you- it’s because of this simple fact that I eluded earlier.
The clearer you are about what matters to you, the more you are clear about what you want and who you are; In fact, that’s the secret sauce of the most successful in our planet- indeed – they are fanatic one way or another about that clarity on what matters to them (Whether it’s their dreams, their visions, BUT most importantly who they are and why it matters to them). They know what they are standing for and what are their boundaries; this all about that clarity and distinction.
I wanted to pause here, because this is NOT just anecdote, BUT it’s rooted in science as it’s been proven nowadays from social sciences and psychology.
We make decision based on our references- in one sentence there’s no such thing as objective decision- there’s only subjective decision- because we make decision based on what we know (whether conscious or unconscious).
This is why, the most successful people are quick to decide, because as shared earlier, the successful people are clear about what matters to them; and as we saw, earlier the clearer we are, the more decisive and fast we can be in our decisions.
So, it’s Not a secret that the successful people are quick to make decision because there are clear about what matters to them.
Let’s look at it from even a different further angle-Physics.
This is probably one of my favorite view point as the world #1 Human Engineer.
As we are all aware, we live in a world where everything is Energy; which means everything vibrates.
If everything vibrates, they all have their frequencies. That’s the law of vibration
Like tuning to different radio stations, allows us to access programs, we are always tuning in to different frequencies in our lives at each moment- because there are different frequencies.
In that way, our thoughts and our state are emitting a certain vibration based on our emotional states and the thoughts we carry.
Similarly, the precision needed from us on what we want is necessary due to the law of vibration.
The stronger the signal, the stronger the content, the further it can travel.
The more pronounced and distinct it is, the more it becomes understandable.
Our homework in this human experience is to train our attention, and metacognition so we can fully be exercising our gifts and ability of co-creating our realities.
You can watch more here.
For those reasons, the vision, goal, dream must be well defined, explicit, prominent, definite, distinct, precision. That’s What Napoleon Hill call as his number #1 findings in all the successful people principles-The definiteness of purpose.
Which is why the second principle is to be remembered- specificity is important due to the law of the vibration that permeates everything.
The third principle I want to emphasize is giving us the how and the why–
The second law that I wanted to share that is so IMPORTANT is the law of polarity or duality in this human experience. What that law suggests is that there are always two polarities, plus versus minus, low versus high etc.…
This law can be empowering or it can be enslaving us based on our awareness and our skills to exercise our metacognition. The Most important gift in our human experience is the ability for us to train our METACOGNITION capacity every day.
Why this matter to you? It’s because with polarization we can get clarity faster.
Learning the law of polarity allows you to gain clarity so quick.
With that law we can find out quickly our vision and or what matters to us.
Getting clear on the vision is NOT a simple task for most people because, we’re wired to notice what WE DO NO WANT so we can survive.
As we understand what we don’t want, we need to pivot on what we WANT; in this case the law of polarity invites us to connect through our heart via our head.
How clear are you on what matters?
The law of polarity allows us to tune into what we don’t like and what we love.
Theses to energies are the two extreme of the same-What would you love AND what do you hate or would like to see changed?
What would you love is the best question to get us connected to what get us most passionate- that question connects us to what brings us MORE life.
The idea is that we want to get polarized to find the pull and to create the distinction. Because our desires are possibilities seeking expression or function seeking performance.
So, we want to connect to our Desire (which comes from “Des ire”)- “Des” meaning coming from God or source-
Yes, The Buddhist or eastern philosophy shares that Desires are the sources of All our “suffering”.
I rather like to look at it from the perspective of connecting to source from a genuine perspective, where the desire is coming from a love intention rather than that just pride or gluttony or vain narcissistic.
Deep down if we truly connect to what matters to us, you are building the curriculum of your own growth for the next attainment of the better you.
As a side note this is why, therefore extreme situations and events have been memorable and they make it easier for people to be clear on what matters to them.
As people get strong emotions (whether positive or negative let’s say through trauma sometimes), they can draw strong boundaries.
That’s the case of Victor Frankl in man’ search for meaning, where in the death concentration camp he made a decision that what matters to him was to “live” and survive so he can tell the story and especially created the logo therapy sum up in the last frontier of human freedom- “The ability for human to choose their own attitude”.
We do not need to get into traumatic incidents to learn about what matters to us.
For example, early pioneer entrepreneurs- Bill Gates, Richard Branson, Steve Jobs, Michael Dell, all these iconic billionaire and school dropout knew with clarity what matters to them; that’s why they could identify at a very young age their drive.
In fact, that’s why it takes Mid 40’s for a lot of men (or so called midlife crisis), because they are looking for clarity about what matters to them when they will be coming out of this life form and human experience- That’s the mortality drive.
Finally, I hope it made sense to see the importance of why and how to create clarity in our vision.
In the end let’s get some practical tools that could be used to help further this work.
Technic 1-Write down the vision, the goals, you want manifested-
The simple act of writing it down, helps embed it in our subconscious mind and we can always easily revisit it at will. In that way we’re freeing our mind power to not worry about memorizing it actively.
Technic 2- Polarize yourself with the two main questions-
What Would I love and What Do I hate (What would I love to see change).
In that way I want to share one technic I learn from Mary Morrissey as I was getting mentored by her- as she talks about testing your dreams or visions with five main questions
Does your vision give you more life?
Does it align with your core values?
Does it give you opportunity for growth?
Does it require help from multiple sources (beyond yourself)?
Will that dream benefit others as well?
I love these practical questions to “test” your visions when in doubt.
Technic 3– Eulogy Motivation-Begin with the end in Mind
Could you picture yourself during your memorial services people delivering an Eulogy for you?
What you want people to say about you- what you represented for them?
What did you help people become?
Technic 4- Mortality Motivation.
Imagine you have twenty hours to live and laying down on your death bed-
When you look back at your life- would be able to say- I did it my way? I would do ALL it again.
What would you die for
What would matter to me.
Another twist of that is to ask yourself if You had only twenty-four hours left to live would you prioritize what matters to you.
As Steve Jobs would say in his famous Stanford commencement speech at Stanford – “Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart…
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new”
I don’t want to end this blog these with scary thoughts, as my intention is to provide tolls and insights that gives you more life; but the reality is that when we know the end we get more power as the how becomes built in based on the end.
What I really want to share here is how to intelligently ask and how to get clarity in your vision.
And I will end with this quote from MLK Jr.
“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”
So, let’s make sure that we keep revisiting what matters to us- it’s a verb after all. What matters to us evolve as we grow even though the core doesn’t change.
To prelude in the next share, we will explore how to further amplify that vision-one hint- Can you picture your vision?
To complement your understandings, you can watch video here.