Today, we’re going to review how to govern over our goals, projects, our dreams and lead the game with indomitable confidence…
If it sounds or feel like a bold promise, it is.
I’m going to do my part and share some personal perspectives with you “with confidence” just to illustrate the point of this blog.
I am confident that in the end of this sharing you will be able to understand on how to generate confidence at will when you need it.
How about that for a confident and bold promise?
Are you game?
If you’re ready for a ride, let’s jump in.
It’s very important to discern one key distinction about confidence.
Confidence is NOT Arrogance, and it is one of the major myth misunderstood concept out there.
What is the difference and the nuance between Arrogance and confidence?
Arrogance is always related to the ego and it has a sense of entitlement that comes from people associating with the past.
Arrogance is born from a false sense of superiority by comparing self to other people; this is why arrogance is limited at the ego level, because it is concerned with competing and comparing self to others; While confidence on the other hand has an expanded perspective because it is looking beyond self as we will understand soon.
Arrogance is framed from a relative “position” vantage point. For example, a prince who has inherited the title of “prince” because of his birth parents might feel arrogant toward a non-royal child because of society standards. Arrogance is not sustainable and not build on solid foundation, while confidence is timeless, and without boundaries as we will see later.
Another extrapolation to not confuse, is the far-right polarization of arrogance, or sometimes associated with being presumptuous, which is even worse than arrogance as it’s an empty sense of arrogance, in a way that it is purely based on a sense of entitlement and with lack of respect towards other.
Notice, Arrogance cannot exist by itself- Arrogance needs a company- arrogance is always in context with someone.
Second major misunderstood myth about confidence is what I called the amateur confidence.
The amateur tie a direct correlation between confidence and performance, results or outcome achieved or attained. That’s a rookie move. Confidence comes from within and is not tied to our performance.
Not to alienate this popular believes that suggests that we build stronger confidence as we perform better. That’s the confidence built in the “alike” of the doubting Thomas who always claimed that
I’ll believe it when I see it first.
In fact, part of the human condition leads us to lean toward that kind of conditioning since birth.
We learn to develop confidence based on our previous actions; In many cases, based on our past behaviors and actions we are rewarded accordingly. In a way we are trained to rely on “conditional confidence” based on our past behavior; Kind of “karmic” confidence;
Confidence is something that is NOT karmic, in fact that’s probably one of the only element that normalizes our lives on earth like death is for every human being.
Now, that we know what confidence is NOT, let’s learn about what confidence is all about.
Confidence comes from the Latin CON- fidere. The prefix “con” means “with”, while “fidere” means faith, trust; meaning confidence is derived from the meaning of moving with faith and trust.
It’s important to make a difference here, faith is not necessary here a “religious” or blind faith- rather a trust based on a reliability and on something that we can count on no matter what.
What that means?
Confidence, unlike arrogance (which is past based) is forward looking -based on trust.
What trust are we talking about?
It’s a trust based on an unfailing relationship- that relationship is the covenant we have, before even our birth since the first heart beat we have in our mother womb- it’s the abiding relationship with life itself that’s beyond any circumstances, or any human beings.
Any master, any legend that you truly admire that built and develop an unshakable confidence had at some point the deep seeded belief- that no matter what their circumstances are, there is something within them that is bigger than their current circumstances.
Whether, it’s Thomas Edison creating the light bulb, Columbus daring the ocean, Steve Jobs chasing his dreams of being a business tycoon and making a “dent” in this universe, or a Michael Jordan excelling on basketball court… they all had one thing in common- they all new within that there’s something greater than what their circumstances were.
Confidence is built inside out- Not outside in unlike many amateurs suggest it.
Now let’s find out and see how we can develop that infallible confidence.
I’m going to pause here and I really hope you do this exercise (that might seem trivia), as this is something to be experienced, again and again, no matter how many times you’ve done it.
Let’s take a deep breathe right now.
As you are reading these lines. Could you please stop for 5 second and take a deep breathe?
Can you feel the air in your lung?
Please take another deep breath. three or four times if you can.
Now let me ask you the simple question, that breathe that you took, did you perform that breathe by yourself?
Were you mindful and present in those inhalation moment?
Did you feel this power that is with you that allows your heart to beat as well?
There is a power with you, as you feel your breath, or your heartbeat.
The truth is, no matter how you want to call it, Life energy or spirit or field or God, or no matter
your religious affiliation, that power is real beyond any circumstances, beyond any interpretation.
To simplify, why don’t we call that power as life itself?
Now, this is where you build within your unshakable confidence-with three principles that are undeniable.
We reviewed in the previous post How To Ignite Your 2018 Vision With your Why?
If you didn’t see it yet, you can check it out here.
Today, we’re going to understand and review how to reach your goals faster through your past.
When you can change the memories of your past, you can move into a new future and by means of that you can elevate your vision for the future.
We’re going to discuss a powerful practice that has been shared in all cultures, traditions by many masters.
You might have guessed by now?
If not let me share with you a short story to illustrate this point.
When I was little boy in Africa growing up, In the tropical forest, I was very scared of a snake called green mamba. The green mamba has the reputation to kill people after between 30 minutes to 2 hours of its bite. I think I even developed a snake phobia because of the green mamba.
However, when I grew up I realized that the green mamba bite is not deadly but its venom is.
After the green mamba’s bite, the venom enters our bloodstream and if we don’t stop it on time, when it mixed itself to our bloodstream, it reaches our heart and lung and by mean of that- there’s asphyxia.
Why is that relevant to you?
Each of us has had hard moments in the past, and most of the time we hold to the energy of those moments as we feel victim or we feel that we’ve been wronged and we cannot change anything.
Ultimately, there’s one thing we’ve all heard about and know about but not of all us know it’s true power of The power of Forgiveness–
To Forgive means to exchange and give your old perception for a new perception.
The general paradigm is that most people believe that we are supposed to forgive because of our religious affiliation or anything like that, but here, I want to share why we NEED to forgive for our own sake so we can claim our power back and redeem ourselves regardless of the action, or the event.
Similarly, the event or the snake bite doesn’t kill or make us stuck from our past-but it’s us holding ourselves unto our own perception and interpretation of the events. So that’s why we want to release that perception, whatever that is, that is Not helping, we need to release it so that, it doesn’t infect our blood like the venom.
Let us review together and understand the phenomenon of holding on to the blockages of the past. Here the video with deeper explanation.
For the most part, there are two levels where people hold onto the energies of the past.
For one, if we‘re in relationship, there will be miscommunication, and betrayals, and so much more.
That comes from the feeling of being hurt- where we feel that- we’ve been wronged in some way, shape or form. We feel frustrated, angry then, toward that person, sometimes it elevates to resentment, blame.
That happens to all of us.
Here’s what to be aware of at that point- we are stuck in that energy.
We are turning around and circling into that circular energy that is toxic like the venom of the green mamba.
Just to bring it to consciousness-we are without doubt in the victim energy when we feel wronged, hurt, or resentful – In that victim energy we’re NOT resourceful and we are holding ourselves back.
This is when forgiveness is needed; very simple, it doesn’t change the event, but in forgiving you are creating a new relationship with what happened with the event and therefore you are creating a new relationship with your past.
You are giving away that old perception for a new perception- you are redeeming yourself.
Forgiveness is an act of redemption.
According to the merriam webster dictionary to redeem means to change for the better-modification of Latin redimere, from re-, red- re- + emere to take, buy
: to free from what distresses or harms: such as
a : to free from captivity by payment of ransom
b : to extricate from or help to overcome something detrimental
c : to release from blame or debt : clear
d : to free from the consequences of sin
Forgiveness is allowing you to start a new.
So, the question becomes what are you redeeming and what are you buying back?
By releasing that stuck energy, you are renewing yourself, by giving that old perception for the new- you are redeeming yourself.
In that sense-Forgiveness makes all things new.
It’s NOT whether or not, we should forgive or not- the real question is to understand that it’s a principle and a fact. Like gravity, you can pretend to ignore it or you can acknowledge it and use it to your advantage, own it yourself and claim it.
Just in case you find yourself saying that you do NOT need to forgive, or that you don’t have any trauma from the past, I would like to caution you that as long as you’ve had interaction with human beings you would need to include this practice as something frequent enough.
Why this matter to you?
Without forgiveness we get trapped with dark energies that keep us fixed and make more matter like. The more focus we are on those dark energies the “heavier”; the more matter we are and the harder it is move for our future visions or goals.
The lighter you are, the faster you can move while when we are on the blame and Victim vibration, we are focused and more particles like as in matter: because we are focus on one thing- me, myself and I.
When you forgive you are expanding your core vision- you come to change the perception that what happened is bigger than your ego.
In that way you are expanding your vision, your energy field.
Let me repeat this- Forgiving doesn’t delete the past, but forgiving will heal you and allow you to create the future all new again.
The second way that we get stuck in the past, is when we were expecting some events to occur, some goals to be met, but they didn’t happen and we get disappointed.
This event necessarily wouldn’t have to have someone involved, it could have been a goal you wanted to achieve that you didn’t accomplish; so you get disappointed; or sometimes we get to blame ourselves- By feeling guilty into something we were expecting to be able to do but that we didn’t do -so we get into this negative circle.
In fact, so many successes are being self-sabotages because of these energies of self-doubt, blame, guilt, which flow into worthiness and self-esteem later on.
Regardless of the emotion, the reality is this-
You cannot change the event that happened but as you learn to forgive, you are creating a new relationship with the event and your past.
As you create that new perception from your past, you are simultaneously creating a new relationship with the past, and from that you are transforming the energy associated to that event, and as you do that, you are changing yourself and you are freeing yourself to build your future anew again.
When you forgive what you cannot forget -It creates a “new” way to remember- And from that act you are allowing yourself to change your perception relative to the event-
That’s where wisdom is built-we change the emotional charge of the memories of our past and through that we are moving into a new future.
How do we that in reality?
Step 1-Realise that events do not define you.
You cannot give your emotional energy to that event anymore.
When you are angry or resentful toward someone/something, you are giving part of your life to that person.
Ask yourself if that person merit your attention and your whole spirit enough in such a way that you are willing to waste part of your life in that non- resourceful energy of victimhood, angst, accusation, blame.
That same question can be asked if it was guilt or blame.
The younger you, or the less wise you (that has grown and know better now)- does it deserve that you waste your time in trying to correct it?
Just pause and acknowledge and say- I AM SORRY.
Step2- you can decide who you’re going to be and how you’re going to be.
When you forgive, you are claiming the freedom and the authority that you are more than any event, circumstances or anybody actions toward you. You are claiming your wholeness.
In that space, what turns the energy is you asking the question: what can I learn from this?
What capacity can I develop with what happened?
Every one of us has had hard things in our lives, the power of forgiveness liberates us from those hard things, it doesn’t change what happened to us, but forgiveness allows us to transmute the relationship to what occurred to us and by means of that we increased our capacity to hold more, be more and have more and do more, and then we are elevated and finally we are freed.
It’s a way of bringing healing to any part of us that is out of alignment.
As I was reflecting on the redemptive power of this practice, I got reminded of a practice that I had used years ago and it did help me- and it’s in regard to Self-forgiveness-
It’s also a practice called ho’oponopono- that is very powerful. A four-step process.
By repeating a mantra- I’m sorry, Please forgive me, I love you, thank you.
It’s a practice that is powerful as well.
Basically- it was a self-cleansing and connection to the bigger you. I added some context
I’m sorry it wasn’t my intent to harm you or punish you,
I didn’t know any better -Please forgive me,
I love you from all my heart.
Thank you for allowing me to notice-
I wanted to quickly provide couple more resources
Another preeminent teacher that helped healed many people is Byron Katie– her process is called
Specifically. The Work is a way of identifying and questioning any stressful thought. It consists of four questions and a turnaround.
The four questions are:
1-Is it true?
2-Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
3-How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
4-Who would you be without the thought?
The next step of The Work, the turnaround, is a way of experiencing the opposite of what you have believed.
Another teacher, that has helped thousands is Hale Dwoskin(who learned with Lester Levenson) through the Sedona Method.
From their own words-
“There are three ways to approach the process of releasing, and they all lead to the same result: liberating your natural ability to let go of any unwanted emotion on the spot, and allowing some of the suppressed energy in your subconscious to dissipate.
The first way is by choosing to let go of the unwanted feeling. The second way is to welcome the feeling, to allow the emotion just to be. The third way is to dive into the very core of the emotion.”
Stay tuned next week, we’ll be learning with another powerful practice that can free you to the next level as you work toward achieving your vision.
Last week we discussed the importance to review and validate our vision despite the gifts of challenges that would come our way. If you didn’t get a chance to see it go here, we got great feedback.
Today we’ll discuss how to amplify the vision we are developing and why that matters to you in getting the results you are seeking.
To insist again on the element, we discussed two weeks ago- the importance of clarity in our vision.
Let me share a different perspective on clarity.
The clarity element is important if we look at our thoughts, ideas, intention and even ourselves as electromagnetic broadcaster field.
It’s not a secret that some specialized bio labs are able to measure the energy around our body itself, or put it blunt simple-
Haven’t you experienced interferences sometimes with electric wires?
We are emitting field of energies even though it’s not visible to the naked eye.
Why is that information relevant again?
It’s important to remind ourselves of this on a day/day basis because each frequency dictates different energies that we tune into and therefore provide different results. Like a radio receiver-emitter tune into different channel based on the frequency we choose.
Now let’s dig deeper into the amplification part.
So, if we understand the concept describe above, we understand that the clearer a vision is, the more focus it can become.
Now let’s dig into my favorite part, to make something clear means to make something understandable.
To make understandable to what? To our subconscious mind.
The subconscious mind doesn’t recognize the difference between a fact and a vision. It’s like a matrix it takes the form that we impress upon it. That’s why sometimes our dream feel so real while we’re asleep and that our conscious mind is asleep that it’s important to understand and pause on our subconscious mind.
In our case here, as discussed into an earlier post, our brain has what is called the RAS or reticular activating system (which allow us to pay attention to something that matter to us)- for example when you buy a new car you see it everywhere for some reasons- It’s not that more car are in the market all of the sudden the very next day, it just that your brain is paying more attention to it because it’s something that matters to you.
Also in those vein, our conscious mind is the CEO of our brain but it cannot store a lot of information for us to act on, that’s why lot of information are stored into the subconscious mind (like our abilities to walk etc..) are all encoded into us for us to be “unconsciously competent”..
Since our subconscious mind would play a major role in helping us “unconsciously” while we even sleep to get our vision amplified it’s important we understand what language the subconscious mind speaks.
The conscious mind is our rational mind while the subconscious mind is our Emotional Mind.
One of the fastest way to trigger emotion is through pictures (whether internal or external).
Is your vision well defined in such a way that you can picture yourself into doing, having, or being it?
The more specific you can be the more power to you.
As yourself the questions.
What do I want to experience? What do I want to do ?
What do I want to have?
Why do you want to have? To do?
Who do I want to experience with?
When do I want this to happen?
The idea of the question above here is to help you get clarity on your outcome.
CLEAR OUTCOME is what Napoleon Hill call a DEFINITENESS OF PURPOSE.
Hopefully the two quotes below help you dig further.
“You never change things by fighting the existing reality.
To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.” Buckminster Fuller
“The Secret of Change Is to Focus All of Your Energy, Not on Fighting the Old, But on Building the New.”Socrates.
As we get clear on our outcome, the next step is to pay attention to what’s working.
What am feeling? How is my emotional level? What results am I getting?
We got to be aware of our internal state, how you are feeling at any given time- because an emotion is a matrix of sensation in the body on which we attach label to.
The secret to remember is that emotions are on-off switches- in other words we either feel the emotion or we don’t. We are either associated to it or we are disassociated.
On top being clear on the pictures (internal or external), the tonality of our internal dialogue also can help amplify the emotion we are seeking. WHEN WE TALK TO OURSELVES, we talk to our head, with a tone voices, which varies from place to place and time to times.
So to amplify your vision, clarify the pictures and spiced up the emotions… that will lead us to the next step that will discuss next week. Step into your why-
Why this vision is important to you?
I’ll share with you a great resource as well for people that want to deepen their clarity.
One thing that any success, dream building, vision achieving, have in common is setbacks, obstacles, or sometimes confused by some as “failures” that in the end of this section- I hope we will agree to put that word in the closet and evolve our lexicon.
Since It’s an important part of it, hope you are okay for us to discuss that this week.
I briefly discuss touch upon this in a different context month ago here… (CHAMPIONS ARE MASTERS AT FAILING FORWARD).
In fact, IF there was a skill that create the huge divide between the average and the legends it’s this:
Now you might have heard about what I just shared or maybe a version of it… But I’m sharing in today’s video,is a different vantage point that is more holistic whether you are a high performer, agnostic, scientist, marketers or any field.
It’s very simple- In my accounts- I like to start with one of my all-time favorite ninja -Jedi mind trick quote-“World class understand that “failure” are just learning steps towards their desire results.”
In fact, the word failure doesn’t exist in their mind-it’s all feedback, learning toward their ultimate goals.
If there’s something that cannot be substituted with anything in champions, it’s this aptitude they have developed.
They have embraced the word “fail forward”. In fact, the smartest ones, fail fast so they can get over that phase or stage of development.
Every Adversity carries with it the seeds equal of a greater benefit- Napoleon Hill.
This was democratized in think and grow rich over eighty years ago.
The reason I like this quote is because, it’s the root of many studies in many fields we see today (sport psychology, social sciences, high performance, organization behaviors etc.…), validating this somehow seemingly simplistic or philosophical view of transmuting adversity into winning rather I want to emphasize indeed the power of the potency of the quote for the initiates one.
Let’s dig deeper and fast forward 2006 well know and renown Ph D. researcher Carol Dweck from Stanford University wrote an award-winning book for “parenting-business-relationship-school” called Mindset, The New psychology of success “How we can learn to fulfill our potential” …
In this book that I highly recommend, she discusses her findings- in the end she “finds” that there are two mindsets- the one that drives to excellence and the one that impedes it (especially since childhood).
The good news in her findings is that the success mindset can be trained. Or the way she called it is the Growth mindset which is in opposite is the “fixed” mindset.
Fixed mindset is a less flexible approach to project, execution while it’s been encoded in this mindset, lot deterministic beliefs that are reflected in behaviors like you have such talent for this, you are so good at this and so on and so forth-That seemingly encouraging reinforcements to our children can be impeding in the long run because the “individual” identity is being pushed. That become a real challenge when for example the child grows up and wakes up and realized that “realities/results” is Not matching up the earlier programing; results are damaging. The adult or child self-confidence goes down and the less effort is exercised by that person.
While in the opposite the growth mindset praises the effort; praise the opportunity for standing up and trying again- in the end that child, that organization has fostered a winning formula for life and template that would last generations and decade to follow.
This is high level summary of that book, but I do hope you buy and read it as she has many studies and experiments that goes beyond my point here.
This book couldn’t codify better Napoleon Hill paradigm,
It’s all about learning.
In fact, let me take a bigger step and say in a bolder way- (as it is the theme that I’m stepping into this year). “No One is ever defeated until the time you accept defeat as result.”
This is not philosophy or psychology but a bold proposition rooted more toward the next point I want to make. When one succumbs to defeat, in my mind it’s a blasphemy to life itself.
Let’s pause here for a second -Take deep breathe- another one
Could you feel the oxygen running into your lungs?
No one on earth has given you that power- So for that reason- no human definition can supersede the idea that you are a winner already with that breathe and life in you- As far I see, no one is failure, no acts or behavior can define your being as a failure.
Now, please don’t quote me wrong-As a high performer, I’m NOT advocating complacency, but rather an inherent confidence builder in knowing that as long there’s any life on earth still in us no matter the age, the circumstances we still have that power that Napoleon Hill talks about to transmute any adversity into a winning situation if we look for those seeds.
In other words, any setback is just another step to your next level.
In fact, I’m not even sure we should use the word setbacks. That means we are looking at results in a linear way or into a Newtonian model based reality of the world, which works for a materialistic limited vantage point of the world.
But with quantum physics breakthrough we now understand the non-deterministic model of the world- success is NOT linear.
Every step is just another opportunity to get better.
Let’s put it this way, as shared earlier, to grow muscle and get stronger, we need to use weight “against” our muscle so they can grow stronger.
I called it the growth paradox ™- which I explain to my clients in more depth. It’s a language use by life itself for us to assert which that we want to create.
If we could instantly create with any thought, fear, we had in mind, the world would be crowded and it would be a crazy jungle to live in maybe, as our childhood fear mixed with some adults wants would coexist. That’s a fantasy that is up for a grab for our next evolution as we master to use our attention and intention properly.
Let’s face it…Most of us cannot control our own mindshare with today’s attention-grabbing economy. So, if we could master our mindshare and influence ourselves our realities would be much different.
As we learn to exercise the power for life given to us- which is META COGNITION, we learn to transmute adversity into winning step (Stay tuned for more in the coming weeks).
Without going into the deeper rabbit hole- I want to end with this.
“NO ONE IS READY FOR A THING UNTIL YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN ACQUIRE IT OR GET IT” …
Failures are stepping stones that build us into believing more into ourselves. The experiences,
The trial and tribulations are helping us to get clear into what matter to us.
Until we become clear about what matter to us, we won’t know what is the “end” game.
Knowing that end game is the ultimate game changer. If you enjoyed the reading here, feel free to check the video where I share a slight different angle here.
Next week we will dig deeper on how to amplify the vision.
As we explored sufficiently last week, we highlighted the value of having a vision, or a dream in a way that we need to be clear about what matter to us. If you want a quick refresh on the power of having a vision please check it out here.
Now the question that I get with clients is about clarity on what matters to them.
In other words, what I found in many literatures is the rhetoric “get crystal clear on your dreams, your goals, your vision and so on and so forth.”
It occurred to me that after talking to few clients-Getting that clarity was indeed the first real work and it is not always easy as one might think.
HOW TO GET CLEAR ON YOUR VISIONS & GOALS?
How Do you get clear on what matters to you?
It does seem like a trivia, but as you would see below the certainty that you’ll have after reading this. I figure I want to spend some time to help on this topic since this part of us owning our power is very important.
In fact, I have heard that there are two important days in someone life -The day you are born AND the day you find out what you are born for. That is usually extrapolated to one’s life purpose sometimes, and the reality is regardless of where this might apply (vision, dreams, purpose, goal, intention etc.…) the significance of getting the clarity of what matter to you is life transforming.
In the earlier post we reviewed the importance of having a vision. What I think is the best translation of that- is clearly the title- Are you clear on what matters to you?
The perspectives I’m going to share below will be helping you at any moment of doubt when you are looking for clarity in what matters to you.
First principle I Just want to reiterate,
what I found is that the process to create a vision is made easier when you are clear on what matters to you.
Now please note here two major components in what I’m sharing above- the concept of clarity and the concept of what matters the most to you. These two elements are critical elements to have your vision crystal clear.
Why don’t we start with the roots of what’s needed to be clear?
Clarity stem from Latin- claurus, which means to make it understandable; the attribute of what we’re looking to clarify is sharp, well defined, lucid and ultimately it permeates the quality of being coherent.
Clarity enables faster distinction; and faster distinction allows faster decision-making skills, faster decision skills allow freedom of choice, which provide more power.
So, if that is the case, we can say that clarity is the quality that allow a faster way to organize the content of the information you want to act on; which further allow for more coherence.
I want us to not miss this point above- the relationship between clarity and the power of decision.
Clarity and the power to be decisive are inextricably linked.
In his twenty-five years of research, Napoleon Hill (in Think and grow rich) finds out after studying the most successful people of his time that “Successful people have the ability to quickly make a decision and work on it while average people have harder time to decide and are slow to make a decision”.
Why is this relevant to you- it’s because of this simple fact that I eluded earlier.
The clearer you are about what matters to you, the more you are clear about what you want and who you are; In fact, that’s the secret sauce of the most successful in our planet- indeed – they are fanatic one way or another about that clarity on what matters to them (Whether it’s their dreams, their visions, BUT most importantly who they are and why it matters to them). They know what they are standing for and what are their boundaries; this all about that clarity and distinction.
I wanted to pause here, because this is NOT just anecdote, BUT it’s rooted in science as it’s been proven nowadays from social sciences and psychology.
We make decision based on our references- in one sentence there’s no such thing as objective decision- there’s only subjective decision- because we make decision based on what we know (whether conscious or unconscious).
This is why, the most successful people are quick to decide, because as shared earlier, the successful people are clear about what matters to them; and as we saw, earlier the clearer we are, the more decisive and fast we can be in our decisions.
So, it’s Not a secret that the successful people are quick to make decision because there are clear about what matters to them.
Let’s look at it from even a different further angle-Physics.
This is probably one of my favorite view point as the world #1 Human Engineer.
As we are all aware, we live in a world where everything is Energy; which means everything vibrates.
If everything vibrates, they all have their frequencies. That’s the law of vibration
Like tuning to different radio stations, allows us to access programs, we are always tuning in to different frequencies in our lives at each moment- because there are different frequencies.
In that way, our thoughts and our state are emitting a certain vibration based on our emotional states and the thoughts we carry.
Similarly, the precision needed from us on what we want is necessary due to the law of vibration.
The stronger the signal, the stronger the content, the further it can travel.
The more pronounced and distinct it is, the more it becomes understandable.
Our homework in this human experience is to train our attention, and metacognition so we can fully be exercising our gifts and ability of co-creating our realities.
For those reasons, the vision, goal, dream must be well defined, explicit, prominent, definite, distinct, precision. That’s What Napoleon Hill call as his number #1 findings in all the successful people principles-The definiteness of purpose.
Which is why the second principle is to be remembered- specificity is important due to the law of the vibration that permeates everything.
The third principle I want to emphasize is giving us the how and the why–
The second law that I wanted to share that is so IMPORTANT is the law of polarity or duality in this human experience. What that law suggests is that there are always two polarities, plus versus minus, low versus high etc.…
This law can be empowering or it can be enslaving us based on our awareness and our skills to exercise our metacognition. The Most important gift in our human experience is the ability for us to train our METACOGNITION capacity every day.
Why this matter to you? It’s because with polarization we can get clarity faster.
Learning the law of polarity allows you to gain clarity so quick.
With that law we can find out quickly our vision and or what matters to us.
Getting clear on the vision is NOT a simple task for most people because, we’re wired to notice what WE DO NO WANT so we can survive.
As we understand what we don’t want, we need to pivot on what we WANT; in this case the law of polarity invites us to connect through our heart via our head.
How clear are you on what matters?
The law of polarity allows us to tune into what we don’t like and what we love.
Theses to energies are the two extreme of the same-What would you love AND what do you hate or would like to see changed?
What would you love is the best question to get us connected to what get us most passionate- that question connects us to what brings us MORE life.
The idea is that we want to get polarized to find the pull and to create the distinction. Because our desires are possibilities seeking expression or function seeking performance.
So, we want to connect to our Desire (which comes from “Des ire”)- “Des” meaning coming from God or source-
Yes, The Buddhist or eastern philosophy shares that Desires are the sources of All our “suffering”.
I rather like to look at it from the perspective of connecting to source from a genuine perspective, where the desire is coming from a love intention rather than that just pride or gluttony or vain narcissistic.
Deep down if we truly connect to what matters to us, you are building the curriculum of your own growth for the next attainment of the better you.
As a side note this is why, therefore extreme situations and events have been memorable and they make it easier for people to be clear on what matters to them.
As people get strong emotions (whether positive or negative let’s say through trauma sometimes), they can draw strong boundaries.
That’s the case of Victor Frankl in man’ search for meaning, where in the death concentration camp he made a decision that what matters to him was to “live” and survive so he can tell the story and especially created the logo therapy sum up in the last frontier of human freedom- “The ability for human to choose their own attitude”.
We do not need to get into traumatic incidents to learn about what matters to us.
For example, early pioneer entrepreneurs- Bill Gates, Richard Branson, Steve Jobs, Michael Dell, all these iconic billionaire and school dropout knew with clarity what matters to them; that’s why they could identify at a very young age their drive.
In fact, that’s why it takes Mid 40’s for a lot of men (or so called midlife crisis), because they are looking for clarity about what matters to them when they will be coming out of this life form and human experience- That’s the mortality drive.
Finally, I hope it made sense to see the importance of why and how to create clarity in our vision.
In the end let’s get some practical tools that could be used to help further this work.
Technic 1-Write down the vision, the goals, you want manifested-
The simple act of writing it down, helps embed it in our subconscious mind and we can always easily revisit it at will. In that way we’re freeing our mind power to not worry about memorizing it actively.
Technic 2- Polarize yourself with the two main questions-
What Would I love and What Do I hate (What would I love to see change).
In that way I want to share one technic I learn from Mary Morrissey as I was getting mentored by her- as she talks about testing your dreams or visions with five main questions
Does your vision give you more life?
Does it align with your core values?
Does it give you opportunity for growth?
Does it require help from multiple sources (beyond yourself)?
Will that dream benefit others as well?
I love these practical questions to “test” your visions when in doubt.
Technic 3– Eulogy Motivation-Begin with the end in Mind
Could you picture yourself during your memorial services people delivering an Eulogy for you?
What you want people to say about you- what you represented for them?
What did you help people become?
Technic 4- Mortality Motivation.
Imagine you have twenty hours to live and laying down on your death bed-
When you look back at your life- would be able to say- I did it my way? I would do ALL it again.
What would you die for
What would matter to me.
Another twist of that is to ask yourself if You had only twenty-four hours left to live would you prioritize what matters to you.
As Steve Jobs would say in his famous Stanford commencement speech at Stanford – “Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart…
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new”
I don’t want to end this blog these with scary thoughts, as my intention is to provide tolls and insights that gives you more life; but the reality is that when we know the end we get more power as the how becomes built in based on the end.
What I really want to share here is how to intelligently ask and how to get clarity in your vision.
And I will end with this quote from MLK Jr.
“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”
So, let’s make sure that we keep revisiting what matters to us- it’s a verb after all. What matters to us evolve as we grow even though the core doesn’t change.
To prelude in the next share, we will explore how to further amplify that vision-one hint- Can you picture your vision?
Are you keeping the main thing, your main thing?
One of the most powerful question I came across is this: What is the one thing that I have to do, in such a way that if I do it, it will make everything else easier or unnecessary Gary Keller